The Developmental Nature

Neufeld’s six-stage model of how the capacity for relationship develops:

  • Neufeld, G. and Maté, G. (2013). Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. New York: Ballantine Books.
  • MacNamara, D. (2016). Rest, Play, Grow. Making Sens of Preschooler. Vancouver: Aona Books
  • Wood, A. (2016). Engaging the Disaffected Learners. Making Teacher-Student Relationships Count. A thesis for the degree of Masters of Professional Studies, The University of Auckland, New Zealand.

Thinking of attachments reduces noradrenergic stress response

  • Bryant, R.A. and Chan, L. (2015). Thinking of attachments reduces noradrenergic stress response. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 60, p. 39—45.

DEEPENING / BUILDING THE ATTACHMENT:

Collecting our Children – cultivating a working relationship by engaging a child’s attachment instincts. 

  • Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment: Second Edition. New York: Basic Books.
  • Ainsworth, M. and Bowlby, J. (1965). Child Care and the Growth of Love. New York: Penguin Books.
  • Fisher, H. (1992). Anatomy of Love. New York: Ballantine Books.


Bridging and Matchmaking

  1. Bridging anything that could divide
  • Brazelton, T. B. and Greenspan, S. (2000). The Irreducible Needs Of Children: What Every Child Must Have To Grow, Learn, And Flourish. Boston: Dacapo Press, Perseus Books Group.
  • Paanksepp, J. (2012). The Archeology of Mind: neuroevolutionary origins of human emotions. New York: Norton.

  1. Matchmaking – using existing attachments
  • Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment: Second Edition. New York: Basic Books.
  • Ainsworth, M. and Bowlby, J. (1965). Child Care and the Growth of Love. New York: Penguin Books.

Softening the Defenses

  1. Reversing defendedness – importance explained 
  • Freud, S. (1901). Psychopathology of Everyday Life. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
  • Freud, A. (1971).  Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense (The Writings of Anna Freud, Vol 2) International Universities Press.
  • Bowlby, J. (1980). Loss: Sadness & Depression. Attachment and Loss (vol. 3); (International psycho-analytical library no.109). London: Hogarth Press.
  • Ainsworth, M. 1978. Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Mahwah: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.


  1. Protecting, shielding, leading
  • Brazelton, T. B. and Greenspan, S. (2000). The Irreducible Needs Of Children: What Every Child Must Have To Grow, Learn, And Flourish. Boston: Dacapo Press, Perseus Books Group.
  • Paanksepp, J. (2012). The Archeology of Mind: neuroevolutionary origins of human emotions. New York: Norton.
  • Rogers, C. (1995). On Becoming a Person. New York: Houghton Mifflin.
  • Schore, A. (1994).  Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self: The Neurobiology of Emotional Development.  Mahwah: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
  • Resnick, M. et al. (1997). Protecting Adolescents from Harm: findings from the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, Journal of the American Medical Association, September.
  • Winnicott, D. W. (1965). Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment: Studies in the Theory of Emotional Development. London: Hogarth Press.
  • DiCenso, A., Guyatt, G., Willan, A.  & Griffith, L. (2002). Intervention to reduce unintended pregnancies among adolescents: systematic review of randomized controlled trials. British Medical Journal, June, Vol 324.
  • Clowes, G. A. (2000). “Home-Educated Students Rack Up Honors.” School Reform News (July).